Life as A Single Mom

I wanted to share some picturs with you all of my first Christmas with my son. I have placed them at the bottom of my blog.

So yesterday and tomorrow the father has extended visits with my 9 month old. 9 hour vists - OMG! They are long and after the first two long visits my son is showing signs of separation anxiety. His WHOLE night routine and nap routine are gone (I spent SOOOOO long perfecting them and all my hard work is gone) and he won't let me put him down.

Being a single mom is really tough on me, and I thought that with my son being born into life this way, it would be easy on him: But it really hasn't been. I have done everything through my court life to ease my son into long visits with his father for my sons sake, and it's like nobody cares about the little baby! It's all about the dad!

It's so tough to see my little man struggle with this, but I hope that once we get back to our normal visits (Saturday) we can ease him into longer visits with his father and things can go smoothly for my little man.

On a personal note, having 9 hours yesterday with no baby around, wasn't too bad. I got my house cleaned, my work done, my hair and make up done. I had a lot of time to myself which I haven't had since my man was born. My house looks and smells like a Mr. Clean commercial!! Everything is sparkling and smells great! But I missed him dearly! Everything he does makes me smile! It's incredible how much joy a child can bring into your life.

I just worry about my little man and how hard this is on him. The life of a single mom is a challenging and worrysome life, but one I wouldn't change for the world! I love my son more than life!

So Christmas has come and gone and it was a whirlwind. This was my first Christmas as a mom, and I didn't even get to spend the day with my son; but that's ok the day flew by. We did most of our Christmas this year, on Christmas eve at my parents house. Man there were a lot of presents.

Christmas morning my son and I woke up, we opened his presents from Santa and then off he went to be with his father from 10-5 (yup. he is only 9 months and he was affected by this. But it was court ordered nothing I can do. Next year though, I should have him).

It actually worked out okay, as the day went by I got all of his presents put together so when he woke up this morning, he could play with them all. He loves them! Actually, I probably love them more!!!heheheh!!!

You know you are a mom and getting old when your favorite presents were your stainless steel pots and your sons farm house! I cooked in my new pots this evening with my son played in his farm house and all worked out great!

We had a great Christmas and I hope that all of you did too!

happy holidays and happy new year!

So with the holiday season being here, I have had a hard time to get on here and write! I have never been so excited for Christmas as I am this year. I know my son is only 9 months old, and has no idea what is going on, but I am sooooo excited for Christmas morning for him to get all his new presents.

So excited in fact, that he has already opened 2! I couldn't wait! hehehe!

Christmas with children around brings back the magic and butterflies and excitement. I am so excited for him, and the years of Santa he has ahead of him. My Christmas's as a child were so magical and I have such great memories I can only hope his are just as great, if not more, than mine!

Well, he does have one advantage. Santa will visit him at my house and then he will go to his dads and Santa will have been there too! How great is that for him!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there. May your holiday season be filled with joy and laughter (and dont' have too much eggnog folks)

You know it's soo funny: When I was pregnant the thought of not going to work everyday had me feeling lost, like I would be bored and have nothing to do. Oh My Gosh!! Was I ever clueless!

I have been off on maternity leave now for 8 months and it has flown by. Taking care of my son has left my days flying by and feeling like minutes. He is sooo active and there is so much to do,I have no idea how I am going to go back to work and juggling taking care of him!

He requires and gets my undivided attention and literally takes all my time and energy. One of my favorite parts of the day is when we clean. I put him in the snuggly, play music and we dance and sing and clean. He LOVES it!!! His little legs and arms move around and he hums and makes noises - I think he is trying to sing with me!

His favorite song so far is "Step By Step" by the New Kids on The Block: I think this is because when I was pregnant and he was still in my belly, we went to a NKOTB concert and he had a great time!!!lol!! Well, I don't know about him, but I had a great time!

Anyway, he is sleeping right now and we are cleaning when he gets up! He will be sooo excited and my house will get clean at the same time!!! Talk about time management skills eh???

When I first became a mom, I had no idea what I was doing! I was never that girl who loved babies and wanted one when I was 20. I always thought I would be in my 30's before children came into my life. Well, that is not what happened and I am sooooo thank ful for this.

When I had my son, I didn't even know how to hold him. I didn't know how to breast feed, I didn't know how to change a diaper, I really didn't know anything. When I look back at myself for those first few weeks, I laugh laugh laugh!! I now feel like SUPERMOM!!! It is quite amazing how quickly our instincts kick in.

My friends told me that they would, but I didn't believe them: Well, they were right! My son has taken over my life and my heart. He is my WHOLE world and now I couldn't imagine life with out him. He is my everything and the most precious being in this world - to me of course!! well, and his nana and grandpa!

The past 8 months I have learned so much and become, in my opinion a great mom. My son is such a happy little guy and I love that. He has such a personality and character that I hope stays with him forver. He even has a sense of humour: Sometimes I don't find him sooo funny but he does and that's all that matters!!!!

Once my little man was in my arms and I left the hospital, I felt complete for the first time in my life. This little man came from me and was a part of me. He immediately became the focus of my life.

My life went from shopping and spending money on me, smoking, hanging out to being a non-smoker, improving my home, buying for my son.

Before I was a mom I was never puked on, pooped on, peed on and if Iwas, I wouldn't have laughed about it!! Within one month of being a mom all of these things happened and they were hilarious. I actually remember saying "oh he's pooing on me...how adorable is that??"...really? adorable?? that's how I felt.

Being a mom has changed me and made me a better person. I have a reason to live and get up in the morning. Everything I do is for my son, and this is how i want it until the day I die!

So my due date was March 15, 2009.....ya...I was only 1 cm dialated and not even close to labour...Labour never happened for me; I don't even know what a contraction feels like. They set an appointment for me to be induced on Marc 26, 2009

That Thursday, I waited ALL day in anticipation and frieght...Finally at 11:00 pm the call came and myself, my mom and my dad rushed to the hospital. I called the father and he also was there. I was induced at 12:00 am March 27 2009 and had the epideural before they induced me...My cervix was still so far back they could not break it without me screaming in agony so I got the drugs right off the bat...

I finally had my my Ayden Nicholas Gauthier at 5:15 pm March 27, 2009. I balled my eyes out when I held him for the firs time. He was so alert and quiet: I thought he was dead cause he didn't cry..The Doctors said he was in shock and had to shake him and put him on a table and then he started to cry.

This was truely the best day of my life and Ayden is the best thing that ever happened to me!

So in March of 2009 the big day came for my baby shower. I had cousins and family coming into town and friends ready to hang out. I even invited the fathers mother and sisters (what a mistake that was!!!!).

The shower was a hit, we had great games - if you are having a baby shower play the cotton ball game..OMG you will laugh your ars off!!! look it up - and people got drunk...

This will probably be my only baby shower and it was a blast. I will remember it for the rest of my life. It's incredible how special these moments are, and we need to cherish them for life. When I look at the pictures and videos, everyone was smiling and laughing and that makes me feel soo great.

P.S. if you make thank you gifts and buy cake MAKE SURE you give it out!! I spent hours making my thank you gifts and drove into town to get a nice ice cream cake and I forgot to hand them out to everyone....

So I was planning my baby shower to be in early March 2009. In February I was getting my nursery ready, so that I could show it to everyone at my baby shower. Being a single mom, I made a lot of purchases on Kijiji to keep my costs down.

February 14, 2009 my mom wanted to go into town with me to make some purchases, so I lined up a bunch viewings for baby items. As we were driving my mom plugged in the curling iron, and told me to do my hair and make up!! I thought this was odd, but didn't think much of, and I didn't do my hair or my make up....Well, I should have...

The first house we drove up to, we knocked on the door and the person that answered it was a co worker of mine...I was confused and was like, "you are selling me the winnie the pooh mobile". Her and my mom laughed and I could hear lots of people in the background....the joke was on me as it was a surprise baby shower from all my co workers...I was sooooo shocked and surprised and couldn't believe it...

I didn't end up spending any money that day (my mom had to go around calling all my kijiji appointments to tell them that I wasn't coming) but I definetly received a lot of gifts for my little bundle of joy!!!

October 12, 2009 it became official...I was going to be a single mom. I finally left my boyfriend to bring my unborn child up in a happy household. I was scared and petrofied to be a single mom, but I knew it was for the best.

No one in this world, wants to be a single mom especially with a newborn. I was not the type of girl, who always wanted to be a mom and thought that I didn't have the motherly instinct in me. But, I was ready for this challenge, as my unborn child deserved it.

I purchased a home to raise him in, I live in the country with .5 acres and there are 5 kids that live in the house next to me. I love my home and feel it is a great home to raise my son, Ayden in. He will be happy here!

If I never left my boyfriend, I probably would never have purchased my home and would still be renting. If I never left my boyfriend my son would be constantly subjected to yelling and arguing, if I never left my boyfriend I never would have gained my self-esteem back to be the best mom that I could be.

Al though this was a scary time in my life, it was the best decision I ever made. I am happy, confident and my son is a very happy little guy!!!

I

July 18, 2008, I was heading to my family cottage to celebrate my brothers 24th birthday. On my way there, I thought it would be a good idea to buy a home pregnancy test, as I was 10 days late, and needed to know if I could drink.

My boyfriend and I stopped at the Petro Canada on the way out of town and I used the bathroom to find out. I peed on the strip and waited...It was the LONGEST two minutes of my life. I stared at the strip in fear and with anticipation...The pink line came up!! I WAS PREGNANT!

I was filled with emotions and immediately started to cry. I was going to be a mom!! ME a MOM!! I couldn't imagine ever being a mom. I also knew at that moment, I was going to be a single mom at that! I went out to the car and told my boyfriend that we were going to be having a baby!

We drove up to the cottage and didn't say a word to each other..It was dead silent as both of us were thinking about the news and what we had just found out. When we arrived, I told everyone I was feeling that well and that is why I wasn't drinking. I didn't want to make this announcement on my brothers birthday, and focus the attention from him to me!

We enjoyed the weekend hanging out with friends and had a great time. That Sunday, I announced to my family that I was having a baby. My parents were ecstatic and my brother was quite excited too. July 18, 2008 my life was changed for ever. I was going to be a mom..WOW!! What a feeling!