Life as A Single Mom

NEW URL

2010-02-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

HEY READERS:

I HAVE CHANGED THE URL TO www.topmom81.com
YOU CAN ALSO CHECK ME ON TWITTER - http://twitter.com/topmom81

THANKS FOR READING AND I HOPE YOU LIKE MY NEW BLOG!

babies playing with babies

2010-02-02T15:49:00.000-08:00

As I was watching my son play with the other babies today, I noticed a pattern...my little guy is a bit agressive!! A lot of the other babies are older, so he chases them, they chase him..they poke each other etc..

But there is one baby who doesn't crawl or anything yet. My son, kept pulling at him, poking him and crawling over him. I don't know if I should be concerned with this? He is a boy and he's only 10 months old so it's not like I can tell him to be gentle and he will understand me.....

I am not overly concerned, but the other mom didn't seem to impressed...but I am not sure what she was expecting??? At least my son paid attention to her little guy and tried to "in his way" play with him!!!

I think I am going to have my hands full when my little man gets older...he is a quite a bit more active than the other babies and he moves quicker...he throws a ball, chases it, gets it, throws it again and follows this pattern for like an hour!!!! eeeh!!!Good thing I am working out, so when he is walking and running I can keep up to him!!!

THE LOVE OF A CHILD

2010-01-30T18:30:00.001-08:00

The love that a child has for his/her mommy is the best feeling in the entire world! This morning, I woke up with a bad migraine and my son woke up with energy to spare! I called my mom and asked her to come over to watch him, as I wasn't feeling too good.

She did, and she watched him for 2 hours before he went for his visit with his dad. Before my mom and my little man left, they came into my room so I could nurse him and say a quick hello. He could tell I wasn't feeling well and he missed me!

He leaned his head against mine cheek to cheek, and then he kissed me!! OMG...my heart melted and my eyes dwelled with emotion...he actually kissed me!! He is only 10 months old but...I kiss him all the time so I guess he has picked up that this is a "love" emotion..

How sweet is this...he is sooo precious and wonderfull. I never felt complete and I never felt this much love, and had this much love until he came into my life!

Walking

2010-01-29T09:05:00.000-08:00

my son is now 10 months old (eeeqqquuu..he's getting so old on me) and soo close to walking. He has been furniture walking since he was 7 months old, he can stand on his own; but he hasn't taken that extra step to walking yet..I'm not sure why.

I have boughten him real good running shoes (based on the show "the doctors" reccommendation) even bought him bubbles to chase after, but he just wants to crawl.

He is so ready to walk, but not doing it yet. I know he is not late, but I feel like he needs to start soon. I was walking at 8 months and my brother at 6 so I feel like he should be walking right now...

For my readers (don't have many yet...) any suggestions on what I can do to get him to take the next step?

BABIES AND DOGS

2010-01-26T15:42:00.000-08:00

Ok soI know this may sound wierd...but I think it's kind of funny...

The more I observe my son and other children - I can't help but see a comparison to dogs!! My son has play dates every Tuesday, and when the babies get together I just see a bunch of dogs at a dog park!!!

They crawl on all fours, they can't talk but make noises to communicate, they get sooo excited to see their "mommy", they are obsessed with toilets, they try to get anything and everything off the floor, they pee on furniture, when they play together they roll on each other and poke each other...

Anyone else see the similarities?? or is it just me???????

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE

2010-01-23T14:17:00.001-08:00

When you are feeling down, here is a great quote that I really like by Kahlil Gibran:

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

LAUGHING

2010-01-21T10:14:00.000-08:00

Ok so seriously I am annoyed!!! My mom tickles my son and he belly laughs...my friends tickle my son and he belly laughs...I tickle him, and he looks at me like I'm crazy????

Do I not know how to tickle??? howcome he doesn't laugh when I tickle him??? What the heck??? I get him laughing and belly laughing in other ways, but gosh darn it, I want him to laugh when I tickle him!!!

Another annoyance, when he is away from me for a few hours, when he first sees me he is super excited and his legs and arms go and he nearly jumps into my arms. But, when I get him home to play with him, he leaves me and explores my house and plays with all his toys - for about 10 minutes a toy and then wants to play with me.

Like what?? I am not first, his toys are??? What's this all about???? lol...my feelings are hurt!!!

Working Mom

2010-01-19T15:04:00.000-08:00

So I spoke to my manager today and asked for a leave of absence from work until August 2010. And she seemed ok with it and will let me know if I am approved. Court takes up a lot of my time, so I decided it would be best not to go back to work right away, as I would be unreliable when it comes to my attendance. I don't want to be missing work for court!

I don't usually discuss my court situation on this blog, but I have decided this one time to go into a bit of detail. My ex just started having unsupervised visits with my son, and on his third unsupervised visits my sons sleeper came back with oil/hash stains on it. I had it tested by a third party and it tested positive. This situation has me a little stressed out, but as i posted before, I am not letting any emotions get the best of me, and have faith that justice with prevail.

All I want for my child is a safe, healthy, loving and drug free childhood. I don't want him to go to his dads and think it is cool or acceptable to smoke dope and drink alcohol all day long. Is this too much to ask? My ex thinks it is, but I could care less about him, I want what is best for my son, and if I go into financial strain to do this, so be it!

Life as a single mom. I never thought I would be here, but I would not change being a single mother for anything

EMOTIONS AND STRESS

2010-01-16T08:53:00.001-08:00

Being a single mom is filled with new challengs and stressors that I never had to deal with before. Every day is new and exciting, but also downfalls and curveballs are thrown. I have to take care of my son, by myself with no help, yet deal with the everyday challenges of life: Not to mention the new challenges that I face being a single mom.

What I have noticed is that I have not always dealth with these challenges in the best manner. I have allowed them to stress me out and take over my emotions; however, I can't and will no longer allow them to take over my emotions. I will be in control of them for my sons sake.

When I am stressed or upset, he can feel that. He can sense that. He knows his mommy is upset. I don't want him to feel this way. He is still soo young, that I am unable to communicate with him and I don't want him to feed off of me.

Starting this day forward, my emotions will be in check and my son will not feel my pain or stress. He is my guardian angel and I want him to be happy, safe and loved!

Curve Balls

2010-01-14T15:49:00.001-08:00

Life throws ya curve balls and you have to go with the flow of things: This is what keeps life interesting.

My rule of thumb, is to live life according to your values: Stay true to yourself and never stray.
Love those in your life and treat them as you want to be treated. When life gets tough, pick yourself up and accept the challenges head on - and you will be allright!

Believe that everything happens for a reason, and this is the path you are meant to be going down, and the lessons you are meant to learn in this lifetime. Karma comes back around and I live my life believing this: Truely believing this.

I have surrendered myself to accept whatever life brings my way and I know that I will always come through a stronger person learning valuable lessons as I go along.

Getting older brings wisdom, being a mother brings pure bliss and happiness!

Hair

2010-01-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

So my little guy does not have very much hair to begin with (he's like I was when I was a baby). On two occassions now, his father has cut his hair during his visits...like WTH??? Why is he cutting his hair - he barely has any, and the hair that he has need to stay!

I am getting irritated with this, as there is really nothing that I can do. I just don't understand his thoughts behind his actions. Makes noooooooo sense to me.

Just another frustration that I have to deal with when it comes to my sons father. He just better never come home with a shaved head I tell ya!

Busy life of a Mom

2010-01-09T07:48:00.001-08:00

Being a mom is such a busy lifestyle choice. You have to try and find time for yourself, cleaning, cooking, sleeping, working and OF COURSE playing and bonding with your little one.

So how can you evaluate if you are getting everything in during your daily activities? Or, do you know you are not but can't seem to evaluate your day to see where you can make changes?
I have just found and added to my website http://www.topmomsplace.com a great tool for us moms. It is an activity wheel. This wheel has 24 slots which represent one hour of every day. You can color or fill in these slots and this is an EASY way to review your daily activities to see where you are spending your time.

I know I am a visual person, so doing this wheel and seeing how I spent my day, allowed me to make the appropriate changes to make sure my time is spread evenly and I am getting everything done that needs to get done!

Try it out! It's free and it will help you make sure you are spreading your precious time evenly

LAYOUT

2010-01-07T16:24:00.001-08:00

To my readers:

I have been playing around with templates for a while, and think I have one that I like. Any one care to share their opinion?

I am only on trial, and if the template works I am going to buy the program: But, being a single mom I want to try it first and see what I think, before I pay.

Your opinions would be greatly appreciated and valued.

The working mom

2010-01-05T12:43:00.001-08:00

So as my son gets older (he is 9 months now) I must face a challenging decision. Do I put him in Daycare and return to work, do I take time off? What do I do?

I hate the thought of not spending every moment I can with him, but the average mom, does have to work. And being a mom with no child support, I can't stay on EI forever! I must make a decision and I must make it quickly.

This is a decision, I never thought I would toss and turn over. When I was pregnant and going off on maternity leave, I thought I would go crazy not waking up and going to work everyday. Woah!! Was I wrong! Life as a mom is different, but one that I love. I have friends who go to work full-time and come home and only get to spend afew short hours with their child.

Well i must cut this post short, my son just woke up

NEW YEARS - 2009

2010-01-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

Happy new years to everyone. May 2010 bless you with joy and happiness. I want to share a poem that pretty much describes 2009 for me.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM

Before I was a mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and teeth every day.

Before I was a mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

Before I was a mom
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed or peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hour at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew I would love being a mom.

Before I was a mom
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know the bond between a mother and a child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night ever 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never know the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or
Satisfaction of being a mom.
I didn’t know that I was capable of feeling so much
Before I was a mom.

Author Unknown

Pictures

2009-12-29T13:15:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share some picturs with you all of my first Christmas with my son. I have placed them at the bottom of my blog.

Days without my son

2009-12-29T13:06:00.000-08:00

So yesterday and tomorrow the father has extended visits with my 9 month old. 9 hour vists - OMG! They are long and after the first two long visits my son is showing signs of separation anxiety. His WHOLE night routine and nap routine are gone (I spent SOOOOO long perfecting them and all my hard work is gone) and he won't let me put him down.

Being a single mom is really tough on me, and I thought that with my son being born into life this way, it would be easy on him: But it really hasn't been. I have done everything through my court life to ease my son into long visits with his father for my sons sake, and it's like nobody cares about the little baby! It's all about the dad!

It's so tough to see my little man struggle with this, but I hope that once we get back to our normal visits (Saturday) we can ease him into longer visits with his father and things can go smoothly for my little man.

On a personal note, having 9 hours yesterday with no baby around, wasn't too bad. I got my house cleaned, my work done, my hair and make up done. I had a lot of time to myself which I haven't had since my man was born. My house looks and smells like a Mr. Clean commercial!! Everything is sparkling and smells great! But I missed him dearly! Everything he does makes me smile! It's incredible how much joy a child can bring into your life.

I just worry about my little man and how hard this is on him. The life of a single mom is a challenging and worrysome life, but one I wouldn't change for the world! I love my son more than life!

My Christmas

2009-12-26T15:23:00.000-08:00

So Christmas has come and gone and it was a whirlwind. This was my first Christmas as a mom, and I didn't even get to spend the day with my son; but that's ok the day flew by. We did most of our Christmas this year, on Christmas eve at my parents house. Man there were a lot of presents.

Christmas morning my son and I woke up, we opened his presents from Santa and then off he went to be with his father from 10-5 (yup. he is only 9 months and he was affected by this. But it was court ordered nothing I can do. Next year though, I should have him).

It actually worked out okay, as the day went by I got all of his presents put together so when he woke up this morning, he could play with them all. He loves them! Actually, I probably love them more!!!heheheh!!!

You know you are a mom and getting old when your favorite presents were your stainless steel pots and your sons farm house! I cooked in my new pots this evening with my son played in his farm house and all worked out great!

We had a great Christmas and I hope that all of you did too!

happy holidays and happy new year!

Holiday Season

2009-12-20T16:30:00.000-08:00

So with the holiday season being here, I have had a hard time to get on here and write! I have never been so excited for Christmas as I am this year. I know my son is only 9 months old, and has no idea what is going on, but I am sooooo excited for Christmas morning for him to get all his new presents.

So excited in fact, that he has already opened 2! I couldn't wait! hehehe!

Christmas with children around brings back the magic and butterflies and excitement. I am so excited for him, and the years of Santa he has ahead of him. My Christmas's as a child were so magical and I have such great memories I can only hope his are just as great, if not more, than mine!

Well, he does have one advantage. Santa will visit him at my house and then he will go to his dads and Santa will have been there too! How great is that for him!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there. May your holiday season be filled with joy and laughter (and dont' have too much eggnog folks)

Enjoying Maternity Leave

2009-11-30T07:08:00.000-08:00

You know it's soo funny: When I was pregnant the thought of not going to work everyday had me feeling lost, like I would be bored and have nothing to do. Oh My Gosh!! Was I ever clueless!

I have been off on maternity leave now for 8 months and it has flown by. Taking care of my son has left my days flying by and feeling like minutes. He is sooo active and there is so much to do,I have no idea how I am going to go back to work and juggling taking care of him!

He requires and gets my undivided attention and literally takes all my time and energy. One of my favorite parts of the day is when we clean. I put him in the snuggly, play music and we dance and sing and clean. He LOVES it!!! His little legs and arms move around and he hums and makes noises - I think he is trying to sing with me!

His favorite song so far is "Step By Step" by the New Kids on The Block: I think this is because when I was pregnant and he was still in my belly, we went to a NKOTB concert and he had a great time!!!lol!! Well, I don't know about him, but I had a great time!

Anyway, he is sleeping right now and we are cleaning when he gets up! He will be sooo excited and my house will get clean at the same time!!! Talk about time management skills eh???

No Idea at First!

2009-11-29T16:56:00.000-08:00

When I first became a mom, I had no idea what I was doing! I was never that girl who loved babies and wanted one when I was 20. I always thought I would be in my 30's before children came into my life. Well, that is not what happened and I am sooooo thank ful for this.

When I had my son, I didn't even know how to hold him. I didn't know how to breast feed, I didn't know how to change a diaper, I really didn't know anything. When I look back at myself for those first few weeks, I laugh laugh laugh!! I now feel like SUPERMOM!!! It is quite amazing how quickly our instincts kick in.

My friends told me that they would, but I didn't believe them: Well, they were right! My son has taken over my life and my heart. He is my WHOLE world and now I couldn't imagine life with out him. He is my everything and the most precious being in this world - to me of course!! well, and his nana and grandpa!

The past 8 months I have learned so much and become, in my opinion a great mom. My son is such a happy little guy and I love that. He has such a personality and character that I hope stays with him forver. He even has a sense of humour: Sometimes I don't find him sooo funny but he does and that's all that matters!!!!

LIFE AS A MOM

2009-11-28T16:30:00.000-08:00

Once my little man was in my arms and I left the hospital, I felt complete for the first time in my life. This little man came from me and was a part of me. He immediately became the focus of my life.

My life went from shopping and spending money on me, smoking, hanging out to being a non-smoker, improving my home, buying for my son.

Before I was a mom I was never puked on, pooped on, peed on and if Iwas, I wouldn't have laughed about it!! Within one month of being a mom all of these things happened and they were hilarious. I actually remember saying "oh he's pooing on me...how adorable is that??"...really? adorable?? that's how I felt.

Being a mom has changed me and made me a better person. I have a reason to live and get up in the morning. Everything I do is for my son, and this is how i want it until the day I die!

The Day I Became a Mom

2009-11-26T13:55:00.000-08:00

So my due date was March 15, 2009.....ya...I was only 1 cm dialated and not even close to labour...Labour never happened for me; I don't even know what a contraction feels like. They set an appointment for me to be induced on Marc 26, 2009

That Thursday, I waited ALL day in anticipation and frieght...Finally at 11:00 pm the call came and myself, my mom and my dad rushed to the hospital. I called the father and he also was there. I was induced at 12:00 am March 27 2009 and had the epideural before they induced me...My cervix was still so far back they could not break it without me screaming in agony so I got the drugs right off the bat...

I finally had my my Ayden Nicholas Gauthier at 5:15 pm March 27, 2009. I balled my eyes out when I held him for the firs time. He was so alert and quiet: I thought he was dead cause he didn't cry..The Doctors said he was in shock and had to shake him and put him on a table and then he started to cry.

This was truely the best day of my life and Ayden is the best thing that ever happened to me!

My Second Baby Shower

2009-11-24T13:48:00.000-08:00

So in March of 2009 the big day came for my baby shower. I had cousins and family coming into town and friends ready to hang out. I even invited the fathers mother and sisters (what a mistake that was!!!!).

The shower was a hit, we had great games - if you are having a baby shower play the cotton ball game..OMG you will laugh your ars off!!! look it up - and people got drunk...

This will probably be my only baby shower and it was a blast. I will remember it for the rest of my life. It's incredible how special these moments are, and we need to cherish them for life. When I look at the pictures and videos, everyone was smiling and laughing and that makes me feel soo great.

P.S. if you make thank you gifts and buy cake MAKE SURE you give it out!! I spent hours making my thank you gifts and drove into town to get a nice ice cream cake and I forgot to hand them out to everyone....

My First Baby Shower

2009-11-22T16:25:00.000-08:00

So I was planning my baby shower to be in early March 2009. In February I was getting my nursery ready, so that I could show it to everyone at my baby shower. Being a single mom, I made a lot of purchases on Kijiji to keep my costs down.

February 14, 2009 my mom wanted to go into town with me to make some purchases, so I lined up a bunch viewings for baby items. As we were driving my mom plugged in the curling iron, and told me to do my hair and make up!! I thought this was odd, but didn't think much of, and I didn't do my hair or my make up....Well, I should have...

The first house we drove up to, we knocked on the door and the person that answered it was a co worker of mine...I was confused and was like, "you are selling me the winnie the pooh mobile". Her and my mom laughed and I could hear lots of people in the background....the joke was on me as it was a surprise baby shower from all my co workers...I was sooooo shocked and surprised and couldn't believe it...

I didn't end up spending any money that day (my mom had to go around calling all my kijiji appointments to tell them that I wasn't coming) but I definetly received a lot of gifts for my little bundle of joy!!!

THE NIGHT I BECAME A SINGLE MOM...AND I WAS STILL PREGNANT

2009-11-21T18:44:00.000-08:00

October 12, 2009 it became official...I was going to be a single mom. I finally left my boyfriend to bring my unborn child up in a happy household. I was scared and petrofied to be a single mom, but I knew it was for the best.

No one in this world, wants to be a single mom especially with a newborn. I was not the type of girl, who always wanted to be a mom and thought that I didn't have the motherly instinct in me. But, I was ready for this challenge, as my unborn child deserved it.

I purchased a home to raise him in, I live in the country with .5 acres and there are 5 kids that live in the house next to me. I love my home and feel it is a great home to raise my son, Ayden in. He will be happy here!

If I never left my boyfriend, I probably would never have purchased my home and would still be renting. If I never left my boyfriend my son would be constantly subjected to yelling and arguing, if I never left my boyfriend I never would have gained my self-esteem back to be the best mom that I could be.

Al though this was a scary time in my life, it was the best decision I ever made. I am happy, confident and my son is a very happy little guy!!!

I

THE DAY MY LIFE CHANGED! I WAS PREGNANT!

2009-11-20T15:29:00.001-08:00

July 18, 2008, I was heading to my family cottage to celebrate my brothers 24th birthday. On my way there, I thought it would be a good idea to buy a home pregnancy test, as I was 10 days late, and needed to know if I could drink.

My boyfriend and I stopped at the Petro Canada on the way out of town and I used the bathroom to find out. I peed on the strip and waited...It was the LONGEST two minutes of my life. I stared at the strip in fear and with anticipation...The pink line came up!! I WAS PREGNANT!

I was filled with emotions and immediately started to cry. I was going to be a mom!! ME a MOM!! I couldn't imagine ever being a mom. I also knew at that moment, I was going to be a single mom at that! I went out to the car and told my boyfriend that we were going to be having a baby!

We drove up to the cottage and didn't say a word to each other..It was dead silent as both of us were thinking about the news and what we had just found out. When we arrived, I told everyone I was feeling that well and that is why I wasn't drinking. I didn't want to make this announcement on my brothers birthday, and focus the attention from him to me!

We enjoyed the weekend hanging out with friends and had a great time. That Sunday, I announced to my family that I was having a baby. My parents were ecstatic and my brother was quite excited too. July 18, 2008 my life was changed for ever. I was going to be a mom..WOW!! What a feeling!