Life as A Single Mom

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As I was watching my son play with the other babies today, I noticed a pattern...my little guy is a bit agressive!! A lot of the other babies are older, so he chases them, they chase him..they poke each other etc..

But there is one baby who doesn't crawl or anything yet. My son, kept pulling at him, poking him and crawling over him. I don't know if I should be concerned with this? He is a boy and he's only 10 months old so it's not like I can tell him to be gentle and he will understand me.....

I am not overly concerned, but the other mom didn't seem to impressed...but I am not sure what she was expecting??? At least my son paid attention to her little guy and tried to "in his way" play with him!!!

I think I am going to have my hands full when my little man gets older...he is a quite a bit more active than the other babies and he moves quicker...he throws a ball, chases it, gets it, throws it again and follows this pattern for like an hour!!!! eeeh!!!Good thing I am working out, so when he is walking and running I can keep up to him!!!

The love that a child has for his/her mommy is the best feeling in the entire world! This morning, I woke up with a bad migraine and my son woke up with energy to spare! I called my mom and asked her to come over to watch him, as I wasn't feeling too good.

She did, and she watched him for 2 hours before he went for his visit with his dad. Before my mom and my little man left, they came into my room so I could nurse him and say a quick hello. He could tell I wasn't feeling well and he missed me!

He leaned his head against mine cheek to cheek, and then he kissed me!! OMG...my heart melted and my eyes dwelled with emotion...he actually kissed me!! He is only 10 months old but...I kiss him all the time so I guess he has picked up that this is a "love" emotion..

How sweet is this...he is sooo precious and wonderfull. I never felt complete and I never felt this much love, and had this much love until he came into my life!

my son is now 10 months old (eeeqqquuu..he's getting so old on me) and soo close to walking. He has been furniture walking since he was 7 months old, he can stand on his own; but he hasn't taken that extra step to walking yet..I'm not sure why.

I have boughten him real good running shoes (based on the show "the doctors" reccommendation) even bought him bubbles to chase after, but he just wants to crawl.

He is so ready to walk, but not doing it yet. I know he is not late, but I feel like he needs to start soon. I was walking at 8 months and my brother at 6 so I feel like he should be walking right now...

For my readers (don't have many yet...) any suggestions on what I can do to get him to take the next step?

Ok soI know this may sound wierd...but I think it's kind of funny...

The more I observe my son and other children - I can't help but see a comparison to dogs!! My son has play dates every Tuesday, and when the babies get together I just see a bunch of dogs at a dog park!!!

They crawl on all fours, they can't talk but make noises to communicate, they get sooo excited to see their "mommy", they are obsessed with toilets, they try to get anything and everything off the floor, they pee on furniture, when they play together they roll on each other and poke each other...

Anyone else see the similarities?? or is it just me???????

When you are feeling down, here is a great quote that I really like by Kahlil Gibran:

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

Ok so seriously I am annoyed!!! My mom tickles my son and he belly laughs...my friends tickle my son and he belly laughs...I tickle him, and he looks at me like I'm crazy????

Do I not know how to tickle??? howcome he doesn't laugh when I tickle him??? What the heck??? I get him laughing and belly laughing in other ways, but gosh darn it, I want him to laugh when I tickle him!!!

Another annoyance, when he is away from me for a few hours, when he first sees me he is super excited and his legs and arms go and he nearly jumps into my arms. But, when I get him home to play with him, he leaves me and explores my house and plays with all his toys - for about 10 minutes a toy and then wants to play with me.

Like what?? I am not first, his toys are??? What's this all about???? lol...my feelings are hurt!!!

So I spoke to my manager today and asked for a leave of absence from work until August 2010. And she seemed ok with it and will let me know if I am approved. Court takes up a lot of my time, so I decided it would be best not to go back to work right away, as I would be unreliable when it comes to my attendance. I don't want to be missing work for court!

I don't usually discuss my court situation on this blog, but I have decided this one time to go into a bit of detail. My ex just started having unsupervised visits with my son, and on his third unsupervised visits my sons sleeper came back with oil/hash stains on it. I had it tested by a third party and it tested positive. This situation has me a little stressed out, but as i posted before, I am not letting any emotions get the best of me, and have faith that justice with prevail.

All I want for my child is a safe, healthy, loving and drug free childhood. I don't want him to go to his dads and think it is cool or acceptable to smoke dope and drink alcohol all day long. Is this too much to ask? My ex thinks it is, but I could care less about him, I want what is best for my son, and if I go into financial strain to do this, so be it!

Life as a single mom. I never thought I would be here, but I would not change being a single mother for anything

Being a single mom is filled with new challengs and stressors that I never had to deal with before. Every day is new and exciting, but also downfalls and curveballs are thrown. I have to take care of my son, by myself with no help, yet deal with the everyday challenges of life: Not to mention the new challenges that I face being a single mom.

What I have noticed is that I have not always dealth with these challenges in the best manner. I have allowed them to stress me out and take over my emotions; however, I can't and will no longer allow them to take over my emotions. I will be in control of them for my sons sake.

When I am stressed or upset, he can feel that. He can sense that. He knows his mommy is upset. I don't want him to feel this way. He is still soo young, that I am unable to communicate with him and I don't want him to feed off of me.

Starting this day forward, my emotions will be in check and my son will not feel my pain or stress. He is my guardian angel and I want him to be happy, safe and loved!

Life throws ya curve balls and you have to go with the flow of things: This is what keeps life interesting.

My rule of thumb, is to live life according to your values: Stay true to yourself and never stray.
Love those in your life and treat them as you want to be treated. When life gets tough, pick yourself up and accept the challenges head on - and you will be allright!

Believe that everything happens for a reason, and this is the path you are meant to be going down, and the lessons you are meant to learn in this lifetime. Karma comes back around and I live my life believing this: Truely believing this.

I have surrendered myself to accept whatever life brings my way and I know that I will always come through a stronger person learning valuable lessons as I go along.

Getting older brings wisdom, being a mother brings pure bliss and happiness!

So my little guy does not have very much hair to begin with (he's like I was when I was a baby). On two occassions now, his father has cut his hair during his visits...like WTH??? Why is he cutting his hair - he barely has any, and the hair that he has need to stay!

I am getting irritated with this, as there is really nothing that I can do. I just don't understand his thoughts behind his actions. Makes noooooooo sense to me.

Just another frustration that I have to deal with when it comes to my sons father. He just better never come home with a shaved head I tell ya!

Being a mom is such a busy lifestyle choice. You have to try and find time for yourself, cleaning, cooking, sleeping, working and OF COURSE playing and bonding with your little one.

So how can you evaluate if you are getting everything in during your daily activities? Or, do you know you are not but can't seem to evaluate your day to see where you can make changes?
I have just found and added to my website http://www.topmomsplace.com a great tool for us moms. It is an activity wheel. This wheel has 24 slots which represent one hour of every day. You can color or fill in these slots and this is an EASY way to review your daily activities to see where you are spending your time.

I know I am a visual person, so doing this wheel and seeing how I spent my day, allowed me to make the appropriate changes to make sure my time is spread evenly and I am getting everything done that needs to get done!

Try it out! It's free and it will help you make sure you are spreading your precious time evenly

To my readers:

I have been playing around with templates for a while, and think I have one that I like. Any one care to share their opinion?

I am only on trial, and if the template works I am going to buy the program: But, being a single mom I want to try it first and see what I think, before I pay.

Your opinions would be greatly appreciated and valued.

So as my son gets older (he is 9 months now) I must face a challenging decision. Do I put him in Daycare and return to work, do I take time off? What do I do?

I hate the thought of not spending every moment I can with him, but the average mom, does have to work. And being a mom with no child support, I can't stay on EI forever! I must make a decision and I must make it quickly.

This is a decision, I never thought I would toss and turn over. When I was pregnant and going off on maternity leave, I thought I would go crazy not waking up and going to work everyday. Woah!! Was I wrong! Life as a mom is different, but one that I love. I have friends who go to work full-time and come home and only get to spend afew short hours with their child.

Well i must cut this post short, my son just woke up

Happy new years to everyone. May 2010 bless you with joy and happiness. I want to share a poem that pretty much describes 2009 for me.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM

Before I was a mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and teeth every day.

Before I was a mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

Before I was a mom
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed or peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hour at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew I would love being a mom.

Before I was a mom
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know the bond between a mother and a child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night ever 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never know the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or
Satisfaction of being a mom.
I didn’t know that I was capable of feeling so much
Before I was a mom.

Author Unknown

I wanted to share some picturs with you all of my first Christmas with my son. I have placed them at the bottom of my blog.

So yesterday and tomorrow the father has extended visits with my 9 month old. 9 hour vists - OMG! They are long and after the first two long visits my son is showing signs of separation anxiety. His WHOLE night routine and nap routine are gone (I spent SOOOOO long perfecting them and all my hard work is gone) and he won't let me put him down.

Being a single mom is really tough on me, and I thought that with my son being born into life this way, it would be easy on him: But it really hasn't been. I have done everything through my court life to ease my son into long visits with his father for my sons sake, and it's like nobody cares about the little baby! It's all about the dad!

It's so tough to see my little man struggle with this, but I hope that once we get back to our normal visits (Saturday) we can ease him into longer visits with his father and things can go smoothly for my little man.

On a personal note, having 9 hours yesterday with no baby around, wasn't too bad. I got my house cleaned, my work done, my hair and make up done. I had a lot of time to myself which I haven't had since my man was born. My house looks and smells like a Mr. Clean commercial!! Everything is sparkling and smells great! But I missed him dearly! Everything he does makes me smile! It's incredible how much joy a child can bring into your life.

I just worry about my little man and how hard this is on him. The life of a single mom is a challenging and worrysome life, but one I wouldn't change for the world! I love my son more than life!

So Christmas has come and gone and it was a whirlwind. This was my first Christmas as a mom, and I didn't even get to spend the day with my son; but that's ok the day flew by. We did most of our Christmas this year, on Christmas eve at my parents house. Man there were a lot of presents.

Christmas morning my son and I woke up, we opened his presents from Santa and then off he went to be with his father from 10-5 (yup. he is only 9 months and he was affected by this. But it was court ordered nothing I can do. Next year though, I should have him).

It actually worked out okay, as the day went by I got all of his presents put together so when he woke up this morning, he could play with them all. He loves them! Actually, I probably love them more!!!heheheh!!!

You know you are a mom and getting old when your favorite presents were your stainless steel pots and your sons farm house! I cooked in my new pots this evening with my son played in his farm house and all worked out great!

We had a great Christmas and I hope that all of you did too!

happy holidays and happy new year!

So with the holiday season being here, I have had a hard time to get on here and write! I have never been so excited for Christmas as I am this year. I know my son is only 9 months old, and has no idea what is going on, but I am sooooo excited for Christmas morning for him to get all his new presents.

So excited in fact, that he has already opened 2! I couldn't wait! hehehe!

Christmas with children around brings back the magic and butterflies and excitement. I am so excited for him, and the years of Santa he has ahead of him. My Christmas's as a child were so magical and I have such great memories I can only hope his are just as great, if not more, than mine!

Well, he does have one advantage. Santa will visit him at my house and then he will go to his dads and Santa will have been there too! How great is that for him!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there. May your holiday season be filled with joy and laughter (and dont' have too much eggnog folks)

You know it's soo funny: When I was pregnant the thought of not going to work everyday had me feeling lost, like I would be bored and have nothing to do. Oh My Gosh!! Was I ever clueless!

I have been off on maternity leave now for 8 months and it has flown by. Taking care of my son has left my days flying by and feeling like minutes. He is sooo active and there is so much to do,I have no idea how I am going to go back to work and juggling taking care of him!

He requires and gets my undivided attention and literally takes all my time and energy. One of my favorite parts of the day is when we clean. I put him in the snuggly, play music and we dance and sing and clean. He LOVES it!!! His little legs and arms move around and he hums and makes noises - I think he is trying to sing with me!

His favorite song so far is "Step By Step" by the New Kids on The Block: I think this is because when I was pregnant and he was still in my belly, we went to a NKOTB concert and he had a great time!!!lol!! Well, I don't know about him, but I had a great time!

Anyway, he is sleeping right now and we are cleaning when he gets up! He will be sooo excited and my house will get clean at the same time!!! Talk about time management skills eh???