Life as A Single Mom

The love that a child has for his/her mommy is the best feeling in the entire world! This morning, I woke up with a bad migraine and my son woke up with energy to spare! I called my mom and asked her to come over to watch him, as I wasn't feeling too good.

She did, and she watched him for 2 hours before he went for his visit with his dad. Before my mom and my little man left, they came into my room so I could nurse him and say a quick hello. He could tell I wasn't feeling well and he missed me!

He leaned his head against mine cheek to cheek, and then he kissed me!! OMG...my heart melted and my eyes dwelled with emotion...he actually kissed me!! He is only 10 months old but...I kiss him all the time so I guess he has picked up that this is a "love" emotion..

How sweet is this...he is sooo precious and wonderfull. I never felt complete and I never felt this much love, and had this much love until he came into my life!

my son is now 10 months old (eeeqqquuu..he's getting so old on me) and soo close to walking. He has been furniture walking since he was 7 months old, he can stand on his own; but he hasn't taken that extra step to walking yet..I'm not sure why.

I have boughten him real good running shoes (based on the show "the doctors" reccommendation) even bought him bubbles to chase after, but he just wants to crawl.

He is so ready to walk, but not doing it yet. I know he is not late, but I feel like he needs to start soon. I was walking at 8 months and my brother at 6 so I feel like he should be walking right now...

For my readers (don't have many yet...) any suggestions on what I can do to get him to take the next step?

Ok soI know this may sound wierd...but I think it's kind of funny...

The more I observe my son and other children - I can't help but see a comparison to dogs!! My son has play dates every Tuesday, and when the babies get together I just see a bunch of dogs at a dog park!!!

They crawl on all fours, they can't talk but make noises to communicate, they get sooo excited to see their "mommy", they are obsessed with toilets, they try to get anything and everything off the floor, they pee on furniture, when they play together they roll on each other and poke each other...

Anyone else see the similarities?? or is it just me???????

When you are feeling down, here is a great quote that I really like by Kahlil Gibran:

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

Ok so seriously I am annoyed!!! My mom tickles my son and he belly laughs...my friends tickle my son and he belly laughs...I tickle him, and he looks at me like I'm crazy????

Do I not know how to tickle??? howcome he doesn't laugh when I tickle him??? What the heck??? I get him laughing and belly laughing in other ways, but gosh darn it, I want him to laugh when I tickle him!!!

Another annoyance, when he is away from me for a few hours, when he first sees me he is super excited and his legs and arms go and he nearly jumps into my arms. But, when I get him home to play with him, he leaves me and explores my house and plays with all his toys - for about 10 minutes a toy and then wants to play with me.

Like what?? I am not first, his toys are??? What's this all about???? lol...my feelings are hurt!!!

So I spoke to my manager today and asked for a leave of absence from work until August 2010. And she seemed ok with it and will let me know if I am approved. Court takes up a lot of my time, so I decided it would be best not to go back to work right away, as I would be unreliable when it comes to my attendance. I don't want to be missing work for court!

I don't usually discuss my court situation on this blog, but I have decided this one time to go into a bit of detail. My ex just started having unsupervised visits with my son, and on his third unsupervised visits my sons sleeper came back with oil/hash stains on it. I had it tested by a third party and it tested positive. This situation has me a little stressed out, but as i posted before, I am not letting any emotions get the best of me, and have faith that justice with prevail.

All I want for my child is a safe, healthy, loving and drug free childhood. I don't want him to go to his dads and think it is cool or acceptable to smoke dope and drink alcohol all day long. Is this too much to ask? My ex thinks it is, but I could care less about him, I want what is best for my son, and if I go into financial strain to do this, so be it!

Life as a single mom. I never thought I would be here, but I would not change being a single mother for anything

Being a single mom is filled with new challengs and stressors that I never had to deal with before. Every day is new and exciting, but also downfalls and curveballs are thrown. I have to take care of my son, by myself with no help, yet deal with the everyday challenges of life: Not to mention the new challenges that I face being a single mom.

What I have noticed is that I have not always dealth with these challenges in the best manner. I have allowed them to stress me out and take over my emotions; however, I can't and will no longer allow them to take over my emotions. I will be in control of them for my sons sake.

When I am stressed or upset, he can feel that. He can sense that. He knows his mommy is upset. I don't want him to feel this way. He is still soo young, that I am unable to communicate with him and I don't want him to feed off of me.

Starting this day forward, my emotions will be in check and my son will not feel my pain or stress. He is my guardian angel and I want him to be happy, safe and loved!